Amorillum - Stephanie Roberts

Feng Shui and the Command Position
by Stephanie Roberts

One of the most important feng shui guidelines is to place your bed and desk in what is called the "Command Position." In this position, you face the door from the far side of the room but are not directly in front of the door; usually the part of the room diagonally farthest from the entry offers the best Command Position.

In the Command Position, you are able to benefit from the chi that enters and flows through the space, while being far enough removed from the doorway that you are not exposed to chi that is too strong. A true Command Position also provides a solid wall behind you for support. Using this position puts you in visual command of the space, and allows you to face life directly, both literally and symbolically.

If you can't see the door from where you sleep or work, this implies that life can sneak up on you, that you tend not to face issues directly, and that you are easily startled and constantly dealing with unexpected events. Sleeping or working directly in line with the door also exposes you to excessive chi, which can contribute to stress, irritability, health problems, and feelings of overwhelm. Use of the Command Position removes you from these negative influences and puts you in control of your space and of your life.

The objective of using the Command Position for the bed and desk is a key factor as well in the feng shui guideline that says not to have your home office in the bedroom. While the main reason for this is that the energy of work (desk) and that of rest (bed) are incompatible and should not be housed in the same space, it is also highly unlikely that you will be able to place both the desk and the bed in the Command Position if you try to use both these important pieces of furniture in the same room.

These are fairly straightforward guidelines, but as so often happens, in any particular space there may be other factors involved that need to be taken into account. Although there are often several potential places to put a bed or desk that will meet the Command Position criteria (the larger the space, the more options you will have), usually one or more of these will be less than optimal for some reason. For example, placing your desk with a good view of the door may require sitting with your back to a large window. Not only does this imply lack of support in your career, but if you work at a computer (as most people with desk jobs do) glare from the window can also be a problem.

Other potential problems to be avoided include overhead beams, the low side of a slanted ceiling, sharp angles from interior corners, and an overhead fan in a room with a low ceiling - to name just a few. Any one of these factors may make a potential Command Position less than desirable. You should also keep in mind what is going on in the neighboring rooms as well as outside the building. For example, what may seem like the perfect Command Position location for your bed is not so perfect if your bedroom shares a wall with your kitchen or bathroom, and the toilet, shower, stove or refrigerator is right on the other side of the wall behind the bed. Another example would be a bedroom in the front of a house very close to the road. Here the Command Position might indicate placing the head of the bed against the exterior wall, where nighttime traffic may sound like it's driving right over your pillow and make it difficult to get a good night's sleep. In this case, you may find that placing your bed so it is in the Command Position relative to the road, rather than the doorway, is the better option. In many cases a review of the pros and cons of a space may indicate that the best location for your desk or bed may be one that is not in the Command Position, but that protects you from other influences.

The best possible furniture placement in any room in your home often involves a compromise between several different feng shui guidelines. The more you know about how the different features of your home affect your space, the better able you will be to make the placement choices that are best for you.

STEPHANIE ROBERTS is the author of the popular Fast Feng Shui book series, available at Amazon.com. Receive FR(EE) Feng Shui tips in every issue when you subscribe to the Fast Feng Shui newsletter. Visit http://www.fastfengshui.com for details.

How Clutter affects your Love Life

by Stephanie Roberts

Clutter in any area of your home is a sign of stuck, stagnant energy. The more clutter you have, the more sluggish the energy becomes. When the areas of your home associated with romance are cluttered and untidy, your love life is affected as well. From a feng shui perspective, the three places in your home that have the strongest impact on your love life are your bedroom, the Relationship Area (I'll tell you how to find that in a moment), and the space around your front door. Here's why:

Clutter in the Bedroom
Your bedroom is strongly associated with the intimacy of a romantic relationship. Clutter in the bedroom can contribute to fatigue, irritability, lack of focus, and difficulty sleeping. When you and your partner are tired, cranky, and distracted much of the time, your relationship is probably not getting the quality attention it needs and deserves. If you are single, a cluttered bedroom will make it more difficult for a new relationship to get started; all that stuck energy literally makes it hard for you to meet someone new. And that's before a potential partner gets a good look at the mess you are living in! Decluttering your bedroom is an excellent way to shake all that stuck energy loose and make room for a new relationship.

Clutter in the Relationship Area
The feng shui "ba gua" is a map of the energetic influences of a space. Some people use the ba gua according to the compass directions; with this method, the Relationship Area is the southwest sector of your home or of a specific room. Western feng shui orients the ba gua to the entry to a space; with this method, the Relationship area is the back right corner of the home or of a room. Instead of wondering which method to use, why not check out them both? Look around the SW sector of your home, and in the SW part of your bedroom. Now check the room(s) in the right-rear corner of the house, and look at the far right corner of your bedroom. Like a wet blanket thrown over a fire, clutter in any of these areas can smother the passion and intensity in your romance. You aren't much fun to be around when you feel depressed, indecisive, ineffective, creatively blocked, overly emotional, or too lethargic to care - which is how you are likely to feel about your love life if your Relationship areas are filled with clutter! Find these areas within your home and bedroom, and make them your top priority for clutter-clearing attention.

Clutter Around the Front Door
The third major factor is the area around your front door. The main entrance is called "the Mouth of Chi" in feng shui, because it has the strongest influence on how chi (energy) flows into your home. You can't nourish your body without opening your mouth to eat. Similarly, your home can't benefit from fresh, vital chi if the front door is blocked with clutter or rarely used. Go take a look at your front door. Does it open all the way, or have you stored things behind it? Is your foyer or front hall clean and welcoming, or is it filled with stuff you haven't gotten around to putting away or getting rid of? When was the last time you used your front door?

The front door is associated with opportunities. If you've been trying to meet someone new without success, getting rid of clutter around the front door and using that entry more often are a good way to shift that stuck energy. You may find that opportunities to connect with someone new come to your attention more often, and that you are more likely to take advantage of them instead of feeling so tired you'd rather stay home. If you are in a relationship, a cluttered front entry can contribute to feelings of boredom and being stuck in a rut with each other. Opening the front door more widely and frequently is a good way to breathe new life into a less-than-exciting romantic connection.

When you have cleared the clutter from important areas of your home, you should see a shift for the better in your love life. For those who are single and looking for love, making space in your home literally creates space for a new relationship to come in. That new partner may manifest for you right away, or it may take time for the energy shifts to result in a new connection. Either way, the space you create by getting rid of clutter will help to lift your spirits, improve your mood, and increase your energy -- which will make you more enjoyable and attractive to everyone you meet, old friends and new.

If you are in a partnership that has not been going well, clutter-clearing alone is unlikely to solve all of your relationship problems. However, by clearing out key spaces you create mental and emotional space for greater clarity about the issues and behavior patterns that contribute to difficulties in your marriage or partnership. With greater clarity comes a greater capacity for wise decisions and appropriate action. You may even find that releasing clutter results in releasing a foundering relationship as well. Accept that it's all for the best, and focus on the new space you have created - in your heart as well as in your home - for a new and better love to come along.

Stephanie Roberts is the author of the "Clutter-Free Forever!" Home Coaching Program and the "Fast Feng Shui" book series. She invites you to visit her websites at www.ClutterFreeForever.com and www.FastFengShui.com

Clutter-Clearing Tips that Work
by Stephanie Roberts

Coping with clutter is rarely easy. There's more involved than just catching up on overdue housework, and staying focused and motivated over the weeks or months it may take to get the job done can be one of the biggest challenges. Here are some tips to help you stick with it until it's done:

1. "How do you eat an elephant?... One bite at a time!" That's a good way to approach clutter clearing: one "bite-sized" task at a time. An entire house, or even a room, of clutter can be overwhelming. Instead, focus on a single small area - one shelf in a bookcase or one drawer in the kitchen, for example - before moving on to the next.

2. Don't expect to get it done in a weekend. It probably took a long time for all that stuff to pile up, so make peace up front with the fact that getting rid of it is going to take some time, too. Plan to do a little bit every day over a longer period of time, rather than waiting until you have a large chunk of free time available to devote to clutter-clearing (which may never happen!).

3. Set time goals, not task goals. If you've decided to declutter the kitchen cabinets on Saturday morning, for example, but it's really an all-day job, you've set yourself up for failure. Instead, set a goal to work on the kitchen for three hours on Saturday. That way, when the time it up, you'll have met your goal even if the task itself is not entirely completed.

4. Use a timer to get over the "don't-wannas." Tell yourself you only have to focus on clutter for 5 minutes. Pick your bite-sized target (one drawer, one shelf, or one pile of paper) set your timer, and go go go for five minutes. When the timer chimes, you can stop… or keep going, now that you've established some momentum.

5. If you just can't make a "keep or toss" decision about something, put it in a "for now" box and plan to return to it later when you are feeling more decisive. Items that you do wish to keep, but that have no "home" in your home, go in a separate box with other things you need to make space for. This way you end up with pre-sorted boxes of stuff you still need to deal with, rather than leaving things where you found them (which is not where they belong, or you wouldn't have a clutter problem).

6. Be prepared to make more of a mess before things look better. You can't do a thorough job of clearing out a closet, for example, unless you begin by removing everything that's in there. That means you're going to create a big heap o'stuff while you are sorting and purging. Don't mistake the temporary mess for lack of progress; just keep doing a little bit at a time until you've gone through it all and made decisions about what to keep and where to keep it.

7. Get rid of the excess first, before you think about organizing and storage. One of the most common mistakes people make is to buy more storage containers before they've decluttered. Eventually, they end up with a home cluttered with boxes and bags and bins of other clutter. Sort and purge first, then tackle storage.

8. Reward your accomplishments, both great and small. Finished the hall closet today? Good for you; now make an appointment for that manicure you promised yourself. Plan in advance what treats you will earn as you reach your clutter-clearing milestones; knowing you have a specific reward coming will help you stay motivated to stick with the process until it is done.

Of course, the biggest reward of all is the joy and convenience of living in a home that is free of clutter. Don't wait another day to get started!

Stephanie Roberts is the author of the popular "Fast Feng Shui" books and the "Clutter-Free Forever!" Home Coaching Program. To sign up for clutter-clearing tips and motivation by email, or to learn more about her clutter program, please visit her website at http://www.clutterfreeforever.com.

Feng Shui as a path to Spiritual Growth

by Stephanie Roberts

One very valuable aspect of Feng shui is that it has a tendency to bring new opportunities and relationships that encourage us to relinquish ineffective behaviors and stretch outside our comfort zones. While this is not always comfortable, it can be powerfully transforming if we rise to the challenges presented by these opportunities. When we don't, choosing instead to remain safely sheltered by familiar behaviors and attitudes, we block the transformative power of feng shui and the significant transitions we'd hoped for often don't materialize.

I always recommend to my clients that they keep a feng shui journal. This notebook becomes a place to record how you plan to correct and enhance the energy of your home, how you follow through (or not) on those plans, the energy shifts that you experience as a result of changes made, your emotional reactions to the work, and the insights you gain from taking a different and deeper look at your life.

When it seems that feng shui isn't working, it's time to take a hard look at whether your attitudes and actions are supporting what you say you want to achieve. Here are some questions to ask yourself, based on the issues that you may be working on:

Career

Am I diligent about always communicating as openly and honestly as possible?
Do I look for ways to create opportunities for others while advancing in my career?
Do my actions consistently demonstrate my abilities, or do I sometimes take the easier path?

Self-Understanding

Do I respect the spiritual beliefs of others, even when they seem limiting or misguided?
Do I help others to learn and grow, and support them in achieving greater self-awareness, or do I usually put myself first?
Am I unflinching in exploring my own needs for growth, or do I pretend my negative habits don't matter?

Family, Health

Do I honor my family and friends in "thought, word, and deed," even when they behave selfishly or inconsiderately toward me?
How am I contributing to the quality of life in my community?
Am I a mindful inhabitant and caretaker of my body?

Prosperity & Abundance

Am I generous to others, even when my financial resources are thin?
Am I comfortable receiving the generosity of others?
Am I a wise caretaker of my assets?

Fame & Reputation

Do I recognize and applaud others' accomplishments?
Do I refrain from idle or malicious gossip about friends and co-workers?
Am I comfortable being in the spotlight?

Marriage & Romance

Am I supportive and nurturing to others?
Am I able to love without clinging, or do jealousy and insecurity undermine my relationships?
Am I comfortable receiving and giving love?

Creativity & Children

Do I listen to and act on my intuition, allowing it to guide me even when I am unsure of that direction?
How do I express my creativity in my every-day life and environment?
Do I support my children as individuals, rather than trying to mold them into "mini-me"s?

Helpful Friends & Travel

Am I asking for the help I need, and allowing others to provide assistance?
Do I take advantage of opportunities to try new things and explore new places?
How can I be a greater benefactor or mentor to others?

When feng shui is applied without this commitment to self-exploration, the effects may be short-lived or disappointing. For example, you may experience an increase in cash flow as a result of feng shui, but if you are a chronic over-spender that additional money will flow out as quickly as it came in and you'll still be mired in debt. Support your feng shui changes with conscious changes to your spending habits, and that additional cash flow becomes available to help pay off your credit cards and transform your financial situation.

The effects of feng shui can be slow and subtle or immediate and seemingly miraculous. Whether you experience dramatic improvements in your situation or a frustrating lack of results, you can gain additional benefit from feng shui when you explore your inner responses to outward transformation. Make a commitment to use feng shui as a path to personal growth, rather than as a quick fix for your problems, and you will inevitably achieve greater success in all aspects of your life.

For details on applying these guidelines to your home, order your copy of Fast Feng Shui: 9 Simple Principles for Transforming Your Life by Energizing Your Home today!

Adapted from material in Fast Feng Shui: 9 Simple Principles for Transforming Your Life by Energizing Your Home by Stephanie Roberts (Lotus Pond Press, Kahului, HI, ISBN 1-931383-03-0).